The most important…

Tonight Matt was successful in getting Thom to bed early and was able to spend bedtime with Lily and JUST Lily.

The laundry waited, the kitchen waited, the stroller was outside and it poured down rain for about 10 minutes and got soaked… but that too waited. THIS bedtime with Lily was the most important…

It’s been so very long since Lily and I have had our bedtime moments. We read books, give each other facials, back massages, brush our hair and then tell stories about the day. She tells me things about her life – her feelings, her grand plans, her fears.

This is our bubble of a moment where nothing is held back and she can’t get in trouble for telling me things like “you know when you asked me to throw away the dirty diaper… I actually put it in the laundry hamper”. This is our space… we kinda naturally created this bedtime ritual space and it really hurts my heart to think about her growing up and ‘aging out’ of our snuggle time.

Lily lies on my belly when she goes to sleep. She used to fit entirely on my torso and as she has grown her longs legs dangle off and drape along the side of my body… but still she rests her sweet. thoughtful.  kind.  head on my chest and that’s all that matters.

I always say to her –

When you grow up will you still sleep on my belly? Even when you are in college and even when you’re an old grandma?

She smiles and says… yes! A true yes. one she means. And it makes me feel very very needed in her sweet life.

New York Mom

You know sometimes us parents- who stay at home primarily with the kiddies- can get into a rut. An- everyday is the same- kinda rut.

There are routines that must happen in order for things to function- wake up at 3am for a feeding, wake up again at 5am for a feeding, wake up yet again at 7am for the day and not feel rested. Disappointment that breakfast was a glass of milk and banana and a granola bar because I’m too exhausted to make a proper breakfast… too exhausted and it’s only 8AM! Then there is playtime… we go through about 15 projects in a day.. all while trying to squeeze in naptime for the baby, laundry, cleaning the house (that was a joke), and keeping a sane mind.

Lily can talk for HOURS these days… about all kinds of amazing things… but for HOURS!  and then just when you stand victor over your day with your superwoman cape blowing in the wind… something in the corner catches your eye and it’s that clock giving you that cheeky face and saying… oh hella no no no mamabear… it’s ONLY 4pm!

So then starts the evening routine. cooking, bathtime, bedtime… witching hour.

These days are long. These days are exhausting. But these days go by really fast.

As I lay with Lily this evening singing my nightly set of – oh danny boy, in the bleak midwinter, angel we have heard on high and sweet child of mine- I realized something very important… the MOST important of all…

The people I influence the MOST and have the BIGGEST impact on are these babies of mine. No matter what my lofty goals – advocating for arts education, using dance as a medium for social change, working with a non-profit… building my media career… all takes a bask seat these days.

My work is here at home. My audience is ready and willing and will buy anything I sell and copy everything I do… so mama needs to get it together and be the very best during these routinely repetitive days.

new york mom

My most important work these days is… these two tiny beings who think I am their entire world.

What an honor.

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Why yes, I AM MOM ENOUGH

By now you have probably seen the shocking *gasp* pic on the cover of Time Magazine. The mag comes out tomorrow but the image is viral. It struts a very attractive- not an ounce of fat on her body, blonde haired, tall – 26 year old mom, standing upright and looking right into the camera while her 3year old son stands on a little chair sucking on her breast. {p.s. – fast forward 15 years from today – this kid is NEVER going to live this down!}

Hmm… Happy Mothers day y’all!

The headline reads.. ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH?

The article is about attachment parenting and yada yada… go read it if you care.

My issue is the question presented. Asking me… AM I MOM ENOUGH?

Mom enough for what? for who? and who is judging?

Let me tell you right now that there are so many pressures being a parent, specifically a mother.  Mothers constantly juggle family life, career, loss of career,  social life and that ever-present “I am losing my identity” crisis.

So why is TIME magazine asking me if I am mother enough and what does that mean and how is TIME justifying this?

I skipped the baby years with Lily. We adopted her when she was 3 years old. She was potty trained, speaking, walking, eating solids and she was awesome.

So does this disqualify my mommyhood status?

I didn’t suffer through the infant years and went straight for the cute years?  I didn’t breastfeed, or practice attachment parenting, diaper changes, or have months of sleepless nights due to crying baby…what else am I missing?

I might just not be MOM enough.

Of course this article has to come out during Mothers Day, why celebrate the good of motherhood when we can ask them a question to make them feel insecure.

My house is messy, I sometimes forget Lily’s snack, I still have christmas presents wrapped that need to be sent to my god children, I don’t cook often, I don’t plan meals, my laundry is overflowing because the laundry fairy has quit us, the guinea pigs cage is not clean right now, the flowers are not planted, my kitchen apron.. i don’t have a kitchen apron, I don’t have full make up and a dress with stilettos when I greet my chirpy kid from school every day and I …. oh gosh i could go on!

But I AM mother enough and so are you and don’t let some sensational mag cover desperate for selling issues at our expense make you feel any different.

Be proud of your ways and charge forward, that little one looking up at you thinks you are the QUEEN BEE so own it!

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