Little Messes, Big Lives

Glitter glue marks are all over my freshly cleaned bathroom faucets. I look in the tub and there are little globs of slime, putty or whatever other science project is going on. In the kitchen there is Kinetic Sand all over the floor by the toy kitchen. Paint splatter adorns the side of the wall in another corner and something odd is growing on the kitchen window sill… could be a crystal, a borax project or a fairy garden with fungus. The little space between our kitchen cabinets and the floor plays host to dinosaurs, hot wheels and a myriad of tiny toys, I almost trip on a skateboard as I try to head out the door, the family room is cluttered with an unfinished puzzle, paper boats, Lego set that might get done soon, trains, marble runs and homemade putty or slime. Under the sheets of my bed, at any given moment, lives a dinosaur, a toy rat or a choo choo that “needs his mommy’.

This is our messy life.

In a particular moment of clarity – rare, very rare moment of clarity, I realized that these little messes all over the house are actually great big signs of a life well lived.

I get really teary when I think about the kids growing up. I love them being who they are right now in this time and space and I love how they interact with me, each other and the world around them. I love that every single one of our bathrooms is a fully functioning science lab with something growing, bubbling or waiting to hatch at all times. I love the neon pink glitter Kinetic Sand all over the kitchen floor because that was actually the food being made for the mermaids or some such tale.

I love it.

Yes, there are days where these messes only add to the clutter in my mind, the stress of raising a toddler and a tween, the fog of the life you are in when raising young kids, being in jobs where you are not valued for your worth… and it’s part of the daily never-ending routine of this messy life. Yes, I have those days. But then within the moments of clarity, I realize that my little messes are really signs of big lives being lived out loud.

These messes are short-lived. I am not looking forward to the days without science experiments in my bathroom, without putty and slime bowls on every surface, and days where conversations with dinosaurs are not a priority.

Hold em tight you guys… it really does go by too fast.

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5 Things to Do in New York This Weekend

The New York Mom
Dear friday… you know you are my favorite right All those other days.. they are just little weekly obstacles to get to you. But here we are… Friday!I love my weekends and we are always out and about exploring and roaming around trying to find trouble.  This weekend there are a ton of great things to do and I figured I would  share a few things on our agenda.

The New York Mom

  1. Hamilton – The epic musical that is sold out until next century has a significant show this evening. Tonight is Lin Manuel Miranda’s last show. So you know it’s going to be E PI C ! Good luck getting tickets. But if you don’t have tickets you could always stand outside the theatre after or before the show to catch glimpses of the cast.
  2. Hudson Valley Balloon Festival – * Updated* – We tried to go to the festival on Friday evening and it was a bust. There were no food trucks, the balloons were not set up all day and they never launched due to weather but never made an official announcement. Maybe this isn’t a good year to go* We are heading up the Hudson Valley this weekend for this grandiose balloon festival. We often see hot air balloons floating high above and the kids get so excited that we decided to go this year. There is a ton of info about this festival so just swing by the site to check it out. Balloon launches are at 6pm every evening and 6am on Saturday and Sunday as well. I’ll see you there.
  3. Brooklyn Flea/Smorgasburg – This is a summertime MUST in NYC. Located on the Williamsburg waterfront in Brooklyn, this flea market is a total scene! You can spend a whole afternoon looking at all sorts of interesting odds and ends while munching on  yummies from award-winning food trucks. Fashion, food, fun and kid friendly!
  4. John Jay Homestead Farmers Market – Take a Saturday drive up north of Manhattan to the John Jay Homestead Farmers Market. This amazing market is open 9am – 1m with a special scavenger hunt for kids. Local resident Martha Stewart has been known to ride up on her horse to pick up a few provisions. After the Farmers Market – stay in Westchester County for lunch at any number of great restaurants. I’ll suggest a few if you want. If you have kids – head to Muscoot Farm down the road to see the little piglets!
  5. The Amazing Max Live – This is the most wonderful magic show with a very entertaining magician. Lily and I saw The Amazing Max years ago when she was about 6 and I can’t wait to take Thomas on Sunday to see this show. Please swing by the site to see show dates… or I’ll see you Sunday!

 

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Celebrating with Breyers

This post brought to you by Breyers Ice Cream. The content and opinions expressed below are that of The New York Mom.

The New York Mom

What better way to celebrate the last day of school than a bowl of ice cream! And that’s just what we did last week. After Lily’s moving up ceremony from 5th grade we headed over to Madison Square Park for some ice cream and fun with the popular ice cream brand,  Breyers! Madison Square Park is one of my favorite parks in NYC. It’s not full of tourists, you have Shake Shack right there, Fishes Eddy’s across the street, benches that wind throughout the park and no shortage of people watching.

 

  The New York Mom     

Breyers is celebrating 150 years of ice cream goodness and we were invited to partner with the brand and help celebrate. I’m not an adventurous ice cream eater so I stuck with the classic Vanilla which was good because Breyers Natural Vanilla is America’s #1 Vanilla Ice cream. You can taste the fresh cream, milk and sugar.

 The New York MomThe New York Mom

To celebrate the 150th birthday, Breyers introduced a new ice cream variety. Aptly named – Breyers Ice Cream cake. This was the kids favorite because it features Breyers Chocolate Ice Cream and loads of chocolatey crunchies, sandwiched between Breyers Natural Vanilla Ice Cream

The New York Mom

The event in Madison Square Park was packed with celebs and ice cream lovers lined up to walk through the massive Ice Cream Container to learn about Breyers and how the ice cream is made. The line for ice cream, walking through the mini museum and photo opp was wrapped all the way around the park. People wanted some cold ice cream on a hot summers day!

A bowl of creamy vanilla bean ice cream is a staple in this house. That vanilla ice cream with the flecks of bean, late nights sitting at the kitchen counter catching up on the day or summertime family reunions with lots of soft ice cream melting slowly by the potluck outdoor BBQ party. There is a bit of nostalgia included with Vanilla Ice Cream don’t you think?

Lily and Thomas have discovered root beer floats. Summer classic right! Simply add a couple scoops of Breyers vanilla ice cream into a tall cup, pour some root beer to cover the ice cream. Add a straw and done! So yum. Make sure the root beer is caffeine free… we made that mistake once and had bouncing kids all over the house. Not a good look.

You can find Breyers Ice Cream at your local grocery store.

Breyers Ice Cream

 Breyers only uses milk and cream from cows not treated with artificial growth hormones* *Suppliers of other ingredients such as cookies, candies and; sauces may not be able to make this pledge. The FDA states that no significant difference has been shown between dairy derived from rBST-treated and non-rBST treated. The vanilla that goes into Breyers products is 100% Rainforest Alliance Certified,and comes from sustainable vanilla farms in Madagascar.

 

 

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What’s the Best Brand of Diaper?

One of the most time consuming, expensive, ongoing and smelly purchases you have with your baby is … DIAPERS. Parents can spend a small fortune on diapers and with all the brands out there, it’s really hard to narrow down the choices. So what IS the best diaper for baby?

The New York Mom

We tried a few brands of diapers with Thomas before settling down on Target’s Up and Up brand. We loved the diapers, the simple polka dots were cute and the diaper did well for us. All the way from newborn through the pull ups.

While we are out of the diaper stages these days, I do still work in the baby and parenting industry and keeping up with the latest of everything is sorta my job.

Recently, the company I work with, TTPM.com conducted their own massive Diaper Challenge. I recruited a few of my friends with infants to help us out with this project.

So basically… this was a 30 day challenge where we put 10 of the most popular brands of diapers to the test. They went bum – to bum! We tested over 5000 diapers in a 30 day period. My sister in Law, my neighbor, my friend, a colleague.. I really pulled people from my everyday life to help with this project.

Diapers were rated on absorbency, odor,  fit/flexibility, comfort and overall performance. This was such an undertaking by TTPM but it has proven to be a great resource for new parents out there.

In the end HUGGIES  Little Snugglers won the whole thing. We do really like the Huggies Brand and it was no surprise they won.

Our personal fave is still Target’s Up and Up. They work really well, just as good as Huggies and cost less than the name brands. This post is not sponsored, I just want to share my personal brand favorite which works just as well as the name brand and is cheaper. savin you some dollar dollar bills y’all! 

You can see by the chart where some diapers stood out more than others.

TTPM DIAPER CHALLENGE

With Thomas we tried eco – friendly diapering. We did cloth diapers ONCE… i mean have you SEEN what comes out of their tiny bums! Not a good look for reusability. TTPM.com did test eco brands and Seventh Generation was the Eco brand that stood out.

What do you look for in a diaper? Is an eco brand important to you? Did you cloth diaper? I would love to know your thoughts.

Make sure you swing by TTPM.com and the TTPM DIAPER CHALLENGE for all the details including comments from the participants.

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A Day at Muscoot Farm

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The weather has finally warmed up enough for us to throw on some coats and boots and headed off to the farm. The kids and I have been stir crazy and have been craving a good ole afternoon at our local farm. Muscoot Farm, is just a couple of miles from our house and it’s our go-to on any given day for hiking, farm chores, and saying hello to all the animals. IMG_1670   IMG_1749 IMG_1769-0 Muscoot Farm

I used to take Lily to this farm when she was younger and it’s been a treat to be back in the area for Thomas and his own farm adventures.

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Some of the pictures… the ones with the leaves… are from a trip to Muscoot in November. But I came across them while writing this and had to share. Thomas loves this farm and we love to support it. From the farmers market on weekends, the kids programming, Maple Sugaring, fairy gardens, farm chores… all of it. There is something for every age and never a dull moment.

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It was still a bit cold this week, but we managed. The trees were all being tapped for maple syrup and there were babies in the barn. Thomas is at eye level with all the animal private bits so this makes for constant, interesting, non-filtered, commentary for all to enjoy.

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Although the ponds were frozen it didn’t stop us from our favorite activity… throwing things into the water. This time we threw ice chunks into the water and watched them bounce all across the pond.

I’m so excited for the week ahead. We have temps in the 50’s and 60’s which means it’s flip-flop weather right!

We barely even had a winter over here and i’m still eagerly awaiting the warmer weather. Just thinking about flip flops, shorts, no jackets, no snow boots, no socks… enough to make a gal do a little summertime dance!

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He Named Me Malala – A Review From a Parental Perspective #withMalala

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Lily’s 5th grade class read about Malala this year. She was inspired and would come home and tell us all about this modern-day hero. So when I was approached to be a media partner for the upcoming documentary – He Named Me Malala – airing on the NatGeo Channel on MONDAY February 29 at 8:00pm EST,   I had to jump onboard.

He Named Me Malala is a powerful documentary about Malala Yousafzai. Malala is the youngest person ever to win a Nobel Peace Prize and she has proven to be this generations, hero in a very unconventional way. Unlike the heroes we see on the big screen – you know muscles, brawn, skin-tight outfits, capes, and magical transforming power, Malala’s strength and power lie in her words.

At the age of 11, living in Pakistan, she decided to start a blog. Yes… a blog. A blog where she talked about the Taliban regime and her support for girls to be educated. She gained fans and was shot down in public 3 times on a bus and left for dead.

He Named Me Malala tells this story and has real-time accounts of what happened, what has happened since, and gives the viewer not only the full play-by-play of Malala’s powerful story but also takes us into her culture and family.

I’m not going to go into a full review of the film, because you can read all about it all over the web. However, I would like to give you a parents perspective and whether or not you should watch this film with your child.  *Note: I said WITH your child. It’s a tough one to have a kid watch alone. 

Lily is 11. She’s in 5th grade. She has read the book and knows the story. She had lots of questions about the shooting and grasping the concept that girls are denied educational rights over boys. She had questions while reading the book and we answered them the best we could.

The film. The film is different. It’s visual and there are a lot of images that are tough to take in for young kids. The content is serious with visuals of the blood on the bus, her face after being shot, and imagery of local life in poverty ridden areas of Pakistan.

There are a few moments of emotional relief like the beautiful relationship she has with her father who, contradictory to the stereotype of Pakistani men, supports and fuels Malala’s women’s right’s movement, and another moment when Malala is caught looking at pictures of David Beckham online. I mean… who can blame her right. But overall, this film is intense. Especially for kids who have not been exposed to any context or real life experience similar to the Pakistani terrain, culture, and imagery in this context and storyline.

He Named Me Malala is a PG-13 film. And this is an appropriate rating. If your child is watching PG-13 movies already, then you should watch this because this film with its ( very few) graphic visuals and true change-makers- story that’s happening right now. At least this film has a better message than other PG-13 flicks where zombies are eating people or snakes have invading a plane or even 6 o’clock the news.

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This said, it is an important documentary that should be watched by kids in Middle and High School. The mature content will resonate and may even work as a call to action for some kids.

He Named Me Malala is an important documentary and PARENTS… you …WE… should watch it. To know the truth and to know what’s happening and to know that our children will be inspired by this strong change-maker.

What does the name MALALA mean? We learn from the film that – Malala’s father – who is a significant part of inspiring his daughter to fight for what she believes in,  named his first born -fueled with power from the beginning. Malala is named after the Pastun Joan of Arc of sorts –  Malalai of Maiwand,  who fought and gave her own life while she  encouraged Afghan soldiers to stand up against British colonialists.

He Named Me Malala will be shown commercial free on the NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC channel on Monday February 29 at 8:00pm ET/7:00pm CT.

Another way to support this amazing story and cause is to tweet #withMalala! Between now and 3/10 and 21st Century Fox will donate $1 to the Malala Fund for every tweet tagged #withMalala. It’s never been easier to support the Fund and girls’ education globally. Tell all your friends to get on board too!

Please tweet this message —>  @thenewyorkmom & I are standing #withMalala Please RT this message to have @21CF donate $1 to @Malalafund 4 supporting girls right to edu! 

*Thanks for swinging by and supporting this powerful story!  You guys are awesome!*

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The New York Mom

Hi… we’re back from a long break for the holidays with our families – parents, grandparents, brothers, in-laws, cousins and puppy dogs!

Our life has been running on a pretty fantastic rhythm lately. We have settled into a great house in a great town, we have a lit of fun  renovations coming up, we have friends, family, health, laughter and we are good. The kids are happy and inspired. Matt is inspired and challenged at his job and I am surrounded by creative, encouraging people around every corner.

As we make our way into 2016, I’m not making any resolutions for this new year. I’m done with those.

Besides I’m not really good at keeping resolutions anyway.

Have you ever kept a resolution ever… have you even made it past the first week? eeks!

I haven’t… so this year… I am taking all the pressure off the expected stamp of failure and just not making a resolution.

I am however… the plot twist… I am making lots of short-term small goals for myself… small-short-term goals that will add up to a pretty productive year.

Things like –

– Reading books to Lily, who is now 10 and about to turn 11 and i totally take bed time for granted with her and focus all the energy into getting Thomas settled and she heads off to bed alone. Her teacher always reminds me… and all the parents of 5th graders… “remember, they are only 10! “. Still very much kids.

– I am going to slow down and take it easy. I’m saying NO to gigs and opportunities that come my way often and focusing on just a couple big projects for this year.

– I want to cook more. Yes me… gasp… believe it. I’m going to figure out how to cook and may even use my fancy mandolin or egg poacher I bought on sale from Williams Sonoma!

That’s it. Small simple, everyday, short-term goals that [ will hopefully ] add up to great big things.

What about you? What’s new for you in 2016? Hope its full of magic, adventure and laughs! The New York Mom

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#GetCrackin with Wonderful Pistachios

Momtrends #getcrackinThis is it everyone.. the big countdown to large Christmas feasts and celebrating the New Year! A decadent dinner party is always a must during this time of year. Last week I attended a very swank event with Nicole and her team at MomTrends and the team from Wonderful Pistachio. What a treat it was to be surrounded by such great food bloggers and chefs making a full feast themed around pistachios.

*This is a sponsored post. Thanks for stopping by and hearing a little more about my sponsors. *

While I will be the FIRST to tell you that I am not the best cook, I do post my fair share of foodie finds throughout my travels. SO talking and eating food it right up my alley. I’ve never tried cooking with pistachios so I was in for a totally new experience. Adding a handful of chopped pistachios is such a seamless and easy addition!

We started off the evening with a quick knife demo to make sure we all knew the ins and outs of chopping onions.* fun fact * – did you know that the reason you cry when chopping onions is because the onion liquid is being released mainly due to your WRONG chopping technique! So a quick ‘ across the onion’ chop is what’s need to minimize the onion liquid. No more tears in the kitchen kids!

After the demo we all were invited to pick a cooking station we want to work on. The protein, the grains, the veg… or the one I choose.. the no cooking station. I made really delicious popcorn- chocolate- pistachio balls. for the win!

Momtrends #getcrackinWonderful Pistachio and Cherry Popcorn Balls

Old fashioned popcorn balls sparkle with the tart addition of dried cherries and tasty Wonderful Pistachios, while the brown sugar gives them a caramel-y flavor. These are sure to be a hit at any holiday gathering.

Prep: 8 minutes / Time to Table: 18 minutes / Makes: 20 balls about 2 ½ inches in diameter

  • 12 cups popcorn
  • 1 cup shelled Wonderful Pistachios Roasted & Salted, lightly chopped
  • 1 cup dried cherries or cranberries
  • ½ cup light corn syrup
  • ¾ cup dark brown sugar
  • ¼ cup unsalted butter
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  2. In a large roasting pan combine popcorn, dried cherries and Wonderful Pistachios, mixing thoroughly.
  3. In a medium saucepan combine syrup, sugar, butter and salt. Over medium heat bring mixture to a boil, stirring constantly. Continue stirring and boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla and baking soda. Be careful as mixture will bubble up.
  4. Pour syrup mixture over popcorn and stir to coat well. Popcorn will still be warm from the syrup. To keep your hands clean slip them into two plastic bags and coat bags with cooking spray or butter.
  5. Working quickly, form popcorn mixture into balls about 2 ½ inches in diameter. Place on the parchment lined baking sheet to cool. 

  Spicy Roasted Squash with Wonderful Pistachios

Delicata and butternut squash are roasted together with warm spices and a bit of cayenne to heat things up. Crunchy Wonderful Pistachios and maple syrup are just the right additions for texture and sweetness. Garnished with pomegranate arils this dish is a celebration of flavors.

Prep: 18 minutes / Time to Table: 38 minutes / Serves: 8 (about 10 pieces of squash/person; about a cup/person)

  • 1 ½ pounds butternut squash (4 ½ cups prepped)
  • 2 ½ pounds delicata squash
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon ground allspice
  • ¼ teaspoon ground cayenne
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • ½ cup shelled Wonderful Pistachios Roasted & Salted, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • ¼ cup POM Wonderful pomegranate arils
  • 2 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley
  1. Heat oven to 425°F. Line two baking sheets with aluminum foil.
  2. Peel and seed butternut squash. Cut in half lengthwise and slice into ½ inch thick pieces. Cut in half again for quarters.
  3. Cut delicata in half lengthwise and seed. Cut into ½ inch thick slices. Combine all the squash in a large mixing bowl.
  4. Sprinkle the cinnamon, allspice, cayenne and salt over the squash. Mix thoroughly.
  5. Melt the butter and stir into the olive oil. Drizzle over the spiced squash and mix thoroughly.
  6. Transfer the squash to the baking sheets, arranging in a single layer. Bake for 15 minutes.
  7. Stir and flip squash. Sprinkle with Wonderful Pistachios and drizzle with maple syrup. Bake another 5 to 7 minutes until pistachios are just toasted. Remove from the oven.
  8. Arrange on a serving platter and sprinkle pomegranate arils over the squash. Garnish with chopped parsley.

Wonderful Pistachios, Peach and Barley Salad

A fresh summer salad with the crunch of Wonderful Pistachios and delicious peaches.

Prep: 15 minutes / Time to Table: 1 hour a 5 minutes / Serves: 4

  • ⅔ cup pearled barley
  • 1 tablespoon chopped flat-leaf parsley
  • 2 cups trimmed green beans
  • ¼ cup pistachio oil, or olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ teaspoon black pepper
  • 3 cups baby arugula
  • 2 ripe peaches, sliced ¼-inch thick
  • ⅓ cup crumbled ricotta salata
  • ⅓ cup shelled Wonderful Pistachios Roasted & Salted, roughly chopped
  1. Bring 2 cups water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Stir in barley, reduce to a simmer, and cover. Cook about 45 minutes, until barley is tender and water is absorbed. Remove from heat, and set aside 10 minutes. Add parsley, fluff barley with a fork and set aside.
  2. Meanwhile, bring water to a boil in another saucepan; boil string beans about 5 minutes, until crisp and tender. Blanch in ice water and set aside.
  3. In a large bowl, whisk pistachio oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper; toss with arugula, string beans, and half the sliced peaches.
  4. Place greens mixture on individual plates. Top with a scoop of barley, remaining peaches, ricotta salata and pistachios. Season with additional salt and pepper if desired.

 

Happy feasting everyone!!!

*This is a sponsored post. Thanks for stopping by and hearing a little more about my sponsors. *

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First Candle Gala with Regal Lager

This blog allows me many opportunities that I would never have access to if not for this platform. And while some perks are extravagant and come in the form of press trips or meeting some interesting people, once in the while something truly meaningful comes my way that makes me stop and think about the bigger picture.

Last friday I attended the very formal, First Candle Gala in NYC. First Candle is an amazing non-Profit organization that helps families all over the world by ensuring safe pregnancies and infant life. I really want to tell you about the great work this organization is doing because it’s so very valuable.

First Candle is an organization that works hard to educate caretakers, parents, and day care workers about proper infant care to ensure that babies are given the best possible chance to reach their first birthday and birthdays beyond.

I attended as a guest of the baby gear company – Regal Lager. It was such an honor to be part of this very important and touching evening that raised funds to further spread this important message.

I spend my professional life as a writer, commentator and expert in the parenting and baby gear areas. Attending this  important gala was very special to me as a contributor to this topic in the online space.

Allison Jacobsen, the founder of Safety Mom, was the host for the evening and shared her touching story of how she lost her baby to SIDS in 1997. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is very real and Allison took her devastation from losing her child to be the preeminent voice of infant sleep safety.

The message of Safe-Sleep gives the public tips about making sure babies always sleep in their backs and that there are no soft, loose bedding or toys in the baby’s crib.

The gala was a buzz with media, parents, advocates, baby gear companies and supporters of First Candle.

Some of my pals from the parenting space – Elisabeth Bergoo from regal Lager, Brianne Manz from Stroller in The City,Jessica Hartshorn from Parents Magazine, Melisa Fluhr from Project Nursery, Serena Noor from Cool Mom Picks, Eric Messinger from New York Family, and a handful of NYC’s social influencers in the parenting space were all in attendance to support First Candle.

First Candle

At the end of our decadent dinner, a single cupcake with a candle was served to all the guests to symbolize baby’s first birthday. It was very touching and makes you really appreciate everything this organization and all the companies in the room were fighting for.

Please visit FIRSTCANDLE.ORG for more information.

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What Time Change?

The time changed on Sunday and we dutifully turned your clocks back one whole hour and slept in and thought we cheated mother earth with this whole “gain a full 60 minutes’ thing.

but no.

but not us parental units.

oh no.

not even close.

this is actually a really cruel joke you see.

Its the END of Daylight Savings Time and people refer to this as FALL BACK.

Fall Back from sleeping. right. because that’s what us parents are going through right now… 3 days later!

 

This is how the early morning conversation went down at our house… or rather in my bed at some ungodly hour in the morning.

MOTO: wake up mom, it’s a beautiful day.

ME: No Thomas, go back to sleep. it’s too early.

MOTO: ( channeling his inner Anna from Frozen) The sky is awake, so i am awake, so we have to go play.

ME: (innocent turn-back-the-clock being that I am) Thomas i told you get out of bed only when the SUN IS UP! (every parent says this right)

MOTO: mommy… the SUN IS UP!

Me: (slowly crank open one eye.. what is this.. the sun IS up… it’s kinda bright outside.)

did i oversleep, thoughts of inadequate parenting flood my mind and ego. i am good enough, i am pretty enough, my children like me. how did i sleep in, what happened to my alarm, my dependency on apple products has finally failed me. noooooo. my world is crumbling…

I roll over to look at my apple product smart phone clock… and it is 5:23AM!!! THE SUN IS UP!

So you can take your ‘turn back the clock’ movement and stick THAT where the sun don’t shine!

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